Raised in the Trenches: What This Life Has Taught Our Kids

Adam and I have four children—two girls and two boys—and from the moment they were born, football has simply been part of their lives.

Matching outfits on game day. Afternoons spent running around a fieldhouse. Friday nights under the lights. Weekends that somehow felt a little different depending on what that scoreboard said when the clock hit zero.

My kids were raised around football.

And because of this life, they never got to walk the halls of the same elementary school at graduation. They didn't grow up with the same group of friends from kindergarten through high school. They've moved, started over, said goodbye, adjusted and learned how to walk into places where nobody knew their name.

They've also had to learn some pretty grown-up lessons much earlier than I would have chosen for them.

They've seen the newspaper articles and read the social media posts. They've heard things said about their dad, his players and his programs. They've sat in classrooms and stood in student sections where opinions were freely shared without much thought about the coach's kid sitting nearby.

As their mom, I've always wanted to protect their hearts from that part of this life.

But I couldn't always do that.

What I could do was watch them learn how to rise above it.

And what a privilege that has been.

Haley has always loved football. She was the little girl in the stands actually watching the game while her friends were playing with dolls. 😂 She loves football, but she loves her dad even more.

She has always carried such pride in being the coach's daughter. If you ever want to see what being completely "bought in" looks like, just sit near Haley at a game. She will probably be the loudest one there, and Lord help you if you disrespect her dad or his players. 😂

She has always been fiercely loyal.

Then there are my boys.

Drew was always by his dad's side. Practice, camps, sidelines—you name it. He was a student of the game and loved being part of Friday nights. He spent years as a ball boy and got a front-row seat to some incredible memories.

Drew never played high school football. We begged him, but the desire to play just wasn't there. And that was okay. Not playing never stopped him from showing up for his dad or supporting the team.

And Brodie? Nope. Never played either. 😂 Poor kid was dragged to every game, spent years as a water boy and ball boy, went to all the youth camps and, honestly, may have missed his calling because the kid could tackle.

He may not have always loved football, but he has always loved his dad. And he has always defended him.

Then there's our baby, Andie Kate.

She was born in June of 2010, right after Adam took the job at Hillcrest. She wasn't even three months old when she attended her first high school football game, and in 16 years, I could probably count on one hand the number of games she's missed.

We just don't miss games at the Winegarden house.

A few years ago she was the ball girl. Now she's standing on the sidelines in a cheer uniform, cheering for her dad's team.

And that one gets me.

In seventh grade, she decided to try out for cheer for one reason: she wanted the chance to cheer for her dad's team one day.

And here we are.

She has watched his teams win really big games and experience incredible seasons. She's also watched them lose. She's watched adversity come. She's heard the whispers and comments. She's listened to peers criticize her dad, his players and the program.

And she has learned to hold her head high.

That's harder than people realize.

Because criticism is almost always louder than praise.

The last few years have brought a lot of change into her life—change she had absolutely no control over. She has watched Adam and me fight to stay positive and keep moving forward in a profession that can be incredibly unforgiving when things aren't going well.

Yet every Friday night, there she is.

On that sideline.

Proudly wearing that uniform. Smiling. Cheering. Giving everything she has.

And to me, THAT is what being a cheerleader is really about.

Not just cheering when everything is going well.

Showing up when it's hard.

Standing beside people when they're struggling.

Believing in them when other people don't.

And being proud to represent something bigger than yourself.

I can say that about all four of my kids.

When it comes to their dad and what he does, they are his greatest defenders.

They know his heart.

They know his effort.

They know his purpose.

And they've had a front-row seat to watching him get knocked down, get back up and keep going.

I will never tell anyone that being a coach's kid is easy. It's not.

But I will say that this life has helped shape my children into the people they are.

They know they can do hard things because they've already done hard things.

They know how to start over.

They know how to celebrate someone else even when they're struggling themselves.

They know what it means to be part of something bigger than themselves.

They know that you aren't going to win every game—in football or in life.

They know people will disappoint you. People will hurt you. Things won't always go the way you hoped or planned.

But you get back up.

You keep going.

And you show up.

And maybe more than anything else, they have learned what it means to be loyal.

Loyal when it's fun.
Loyal when it's hard.
Loyal when everyone is cheering.
And loyal when the cheering gets quiet.

Because loyalty isn't proven when everything is going your way.

It's proven when it isn't.

And if this crazy coaching life has taught my kids anything, I hope it's that:

You don't only show up for your people when they're winning.

You show up because they're your people. ❤️